Love Bird Alert™: Chris Brown and Rihanna hook up!

Publication: Star
Date: 30 June 2011

If we are to believe Star, always a risky proposition, Chris Brown, the pop singer who became the exactly wrong kind of super famous for beating up his then girlfriend Rihanna, has "hooked up" with her again in the recent past.

Just for the record, when the young people say "hook up", they don't mean get together for a cup of coffee.

Rihanna speaks out about Chris Brown.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 11 April 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

Welcome to gossip hell, Chris Brown! A few years back, he was dating fellow pop singer Rihanna, but he became famous for beating her up. He was on Good Morning America last month and got upset over being asked questions about the incident. Now, everybody and their uncle has been asked to comment on the new incident, so it only makes sense his ex-girlfriend is one of the people who is asked for her comment.

One small piece of advice for Mr. Brown. The phrase "I'd hit that" is a figure of speech.

Bad Help Alert:Hollywood stylists get serious about the dish!

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 4 April 2011

I am ambivalent about bad help alerts.

Nannies blabbing to the gossip rags about kids? I disapprove.

Stylists blabbing about hair, make-up and wardrobe? Oh, somebody make some popcorn, this is going to be fun!

Star devotes a huge amount of their cover to dirt about celebrity beauty secrets, some questions given as "Guess who?", which means you will have to buy the magazine yourself to find out because I refuse to open these things unless under serious duress, and several stories where they name names. Here are all the headlines.

• Hollywood stylists tell all the flaws, the fakes, the fights
• Who has a closet just for Spanx?
• Who duct tapes her boobs?
• Who waxes her freaky toes?
• Who has to be sewn into her dresses?
• Who steals from her stylist?
• LeeAnn (Rimes): Starving for attention
• Rihanna: Seeing red
• Jen (Aniston): Finger fungus
• J. LO: Squeeze play (She is the boob duct taper.)
• Camille (Grammer): Closet confidential
• Bethenny (Frankel): Zit fit
  

I only know the boob duct tape story because Star put it on the front page of their website. As much as I might want to know who waxes her freaky toes and who steals from her stylist, I do have rules, and I obey them slavishly except under the most extreme situations.

Love Bird Alert™: Rihanna and Ryan Phillippe one more time.

Publication: OK!
Date: 14 March 2011

Last week, Us Weekly said pop star Rihanna and actor Ryan Phillippe were secretly dating. Now, OK! is repeating the same rumor.

It is still next to impossible to find a picture on the Internets of the alleged love birds together. This by no means proves the story is false, just sayin'.

Love Bird Alert™: Rihanna and Ryan Phillippe secretly dating.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 7 March 2011

Us Weekly tells us that singer Rihanna and actor Ryan Phillippe are dating on the down low. As often happens in these situations, there are no pictures of them together to be found on the Internets, but other gossip websites confirm the rumor to be true.

Celebrity BFFs: Rihanna and Katy Perry

Publication: People
Date: 7 March 2011

People lets us know that singers Rihanna and Katy Perry are close gal pals. These kinds of stories are fairly rare. I've now used the BFF alert twice in 14 months, while the Fussin' and Feudin' Alert has been trotted out 93 times over the same period.

It's all about the drama, isn't it?

Grammys gossip and glamour

(Photo nicked from Just Jared)
Publication: People
Date: 28 February 2011

It's not surprising that there would be a cover story about the Grammys this week, but it's a little surprising there would only be one. As usual, People is all about the red carpet on the cover, and has small pictures of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez and Rihanna, who wore this very revealing dress on the red carpet then changed into something that wouldn't give her mama a heart attack.

Damn You Skinny Alert™:Best beach bodies, January 2011

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 17 January 2011

As should be obvious, there is no longer an "off season" for Beach Body stories in The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. Weekly Life & Style decided to accentuate the positive and put only one picture on the cover for their Best Beach Bodies story this week, the pop singer Rihanna.

An excellent choice.