Damn You Skinny Alert™:Kelly Osbourne's amazing makeover.

Publication: OK!
Date: 21 March 2011

Kelly Osbourne has lost a lot of weight. OK! wants you to know about that. This is a good thing for Ms. Osbourne's chances in show biz and her self esteem in general.

Congratulations to her.

Damn You Skinny Alert™:Kelly Osbourne's bikini body

Publication: Star
Date: 29 November 2010

As I have written before, the nicest thing that can be written about a person in a gossip rag is that they look good wearing very little clothing. The Star says Kelly Osbourne looks good in a bikini, and this picture on the cover of Shape would seem to confirm that, depending on how Photoshopped it is.

The Star is not as mean as the Three Wicked Step Sisters, but they are the meanest of the remaining seven supermarket rags so far this year. Their stories this week bucked that trend in a big way, especially this one and their story that Michael Douglas may be on the mend.

Demon Drugs Alert™:Kelly Osbourne's drug hell

Publication: Star
Date: 22 November 2010

This is the fifth cover story in the tabloids this year for Kelly Osbourne. Every other story has been about the weight she took off. This one is about the 100 pills a day she used to consume. The headline reads "my drug hell", so it sounds like she actually spoke to someone at the Star, which is never a good idea.

If she's stopped doing that, good for her.