Playing In & Out WIth Jim and Mike

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Gay lovers Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy aren't really the same type - that's what makes their chemistry in X-Men: Muppet Babies so electric. As a wise woman and her wise cartoon cat once said, "Two steps forward, two steps back," after all. (Hey that sorta rhymed! I'm almost as good as MC Skat Kat, sometimes!) 

Anyway the fact that they're different types of swoon-worthy sexy serious thespian dudes isn't keeping director Danny Boyle from swapping them out all willy nilly - Fassy, who was set to star in Boyle's next film, a crime-caper called Trance, has been replaced by McAvoy it seems. With everything Fassbender's piled up on his plate these past couple years it's not surprising that things would have to give here and there - he can't be in everything, unfortunately. Thankfully somebody like McAvoy's there to pick up his droppings!

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Quote of the Day

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Interviewer: I like to pride myself on having moderate mind-reading skills and I think I can work out the question that you get asked that annoys you the most about this movie. So I’ve got to read that, it’s my last question. Question: generally when people come in here and they ask you “Are you in X-Men?” The question that…

McAvoy: How many times did you have sex with Michael Fassbender?

Interviewer: That was the question. And what is the answer?

McAvoy: Four.

Interviewer: Four times. And how tender a lover is he?

McAvoy: [sucks in his breath, considers] …Define tender?

Interviewer: I guess.. a bit of spooning afterward…?

McAvoy: [shakes head]

Interviewer: …some snuggles…?

McAvoy: [continues shaking his head]

Interviewer: …maybe a little [kissy sounds] on the neck?

McAvoy: [shakes head] No, I have to take care of myself afterward.

(via)

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Whatcha Reaching For There, Ryan Reynolds?

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Is it Fame? Or a pile of balls?

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So I heard it on good authority, a real "Hush! Hush!" scoop here, that Green Lantern is a pile of balls. Who'da thunk? I mean, obviously the people behind the scenes were making the right decisions right off the bat when they decided that they'd have their lead actor, well known for his perfectly sculpted everything, wear CG instead of spandex. Good choices abounded!

This whole weekend's a write-off, ain't it? The only reason I'm glad Mr. Popper's Penguins is here is if I had to sit through that trailer one more time I was gonna smelt somebody's face. That's right - SMELT! I'll do it! I've got a... a... smelter? Right here! Alright whatever this has devolved into nonsense (yeah, devolved, had a real far trip down the evolutionary ladder there).

Point being, go read some more of what I have to say about this weekend's abysmal crap-fest of movies at Celebrity Beehive. Personally I'm skipping the junk and going for the 3D Hitchcock!

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First Star I See Tonight

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It's so impossible to review these big blockbuster movies when you're coming at them the week after they've arrived. So many people have already had their say, and recently at that; it seems as if I could just point in any general direction and say, "What s/he said." The ether knows the answers! I'm at its mercy. It seems especially so when it's regarding something that I've propped myself up well in favor of for a long enough time as to call my neutrality into question. When it comes to a movie full of Fassy, I could hardly claim to be Switzerland. I'm more North Korea and he's my Kim Jong-Il. That's a sentence.

Point being, I could tell you that Michael Fassbender owns every inch of the frame and every second of the screen-time that he's allowed in X-Men Muppet Babies, and even a good percentage of the time he's off-screen too; that he saunters through this thing as if the camera, that's been chasing him for years now, has finally caught up and tapped into his sex-on-stick-legs rhythm... but who's gonna believe well-past-brainwashed lil' ol' me? Thankfully I knew he was owning it even without the aid of my influence since the audience around me, surprisingly unsedated for a 10am Saturday showing - I guess they were feeling the Fass stirring inside them too - whooped with glee at his every turn. 

I got through all that so that when I say that that the film needed more of him, and to be more focused upon him, it's not just my obsession speaking. I really do think the film would've been helped with a tighter focus, and Magneto's story had the right stuff; not only was Fassbender proving for the umpteenth time that he's the real deal, but the movie seemed to right itself when he and McAvoy were front and central. We know FOX, ever the bastion for eliminating common sense whenever possible in the search for more dollars, rushed director Matthew Vaughn through the hoops for this movie to get it out when they wanted it out; I think if they'd been allowed to tighten their scope just a hint and chisel this thing down to its main story it could've been a much more solid form.

As is though, having too much going for you instead of too little isn't the worst way to spend two hours. I realize you could apply that sentence in a way to something by Michael Bay - if there's something Bay's always got, it's excess - but here I do think Vaughn is at least keeping his pinky finger firmly planted on the right side of coherence. He knows how to tell a story with images that isn't just some hell-storm of CG; plus he's interested enough in the humanity of the characters that he's throwing on-screen to allow his actors to do their thing and get their moderate arcs across, sometimes with surprising-for-this-sort-of-thing precision.  

So scenes like the one where the Teen Mutants show off their skills to each other might sit a little awkwardly in the narrative, tonally at least, but they're still bright little microcosms of fun. These moments pop up and burn brightly all over the film - they just needed a little more glue to hold them together, is all. A steady, healthy flame instead of staggered fireworks. And I guess in the month of June no studio wants that.

Fassy Be Blowing Up

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For this week's piece on this weekend's new movies at Celebrity Beehive, thanks to the release of X-Men: Muppet Babies, I was given the opportunity to do something I hardly ever get - mention Michael Fassbender. Imagine that! I also get to use the phrase "manly cerulean pelt," so keep your eyes peeled for that one.

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I Am Link

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--- Dark Tidings - Via STYD there's the hi-res version of the poster for Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Why no giant floating Katie Holmes head? Or at least giant floating Guy Pearce ass?

--- My Magneto - I'm trying to decide if I'm going to see X-Men Muppet Babies tonight or tomorrow morning. My excitement for it begs for the closest time-slot manageable, while my aversion to Friday night movie crowds whispers otherwise into my ear. Either way, it will be mine, Fassy and all, within the next 24 hours! Whoop! That film and the next couple weeks of Summer releases are covered in Joe's most recent Movie Preview post over at Low Resolution. Check it.

--- How Hungry Are You - Somehow I never got around to mentioning this, but apparently Lionsgate is considering turning the three-book Hunger Games series into four films, should the first movie be a success. Hrm. Lord knows I love 'em, but I'm not entirely sold on this. But I'm easily won over. (Make the third film nothing but Finnick in his skimpy aquatic costume posing for two hours, and I'm yours!) (pic via)

--- And speaking of Katniss & Co, PopWrap got to chat up Jennifer Lawrence today - it's mostly about her role as Mystique in X-Men Muppet Babies as well as her recently discovered talk-show agility - a girl who can charm Letterman so has a big future in the biz - but there's some Hunger-flavored manna towards the end.

--- More Than Meets The Eye - PopWrap dissects some recent comments by Shia Labeouf on the departure of Megan Fox from the Transformers series, and I feel like I'm the last person standing defending Megan Fox - even Mickey Rourke has jumped ship, as if he's got a leg to stand on - but there does seem to be a somewhat mangled attempt at defending her by Shia, so good on him.

--- His Song - The Film Experience is celebrating Moulin Rouge Week, and while I don't really have much to say about that movie, I can appreciate other's enthusiasms for it. (I've got a love-hate thing with it, personally. I like a lot, but sometimes it just gives me a fucking headache.) Anyway my favorite aspect of it is Ewan, so Nat's Top Ten list of Ewan's greatest performances is right up my alley. Ewan forever.

--- Monkey Business - It's amazing what a surfeit of anticipation the Rise of the Planet for the Apes movie I've got at this point. I realized this morning that I never even got around to watching the first trailer, and now we've got a second one. Nothing against Jimmy Franco of course; should we lay the blame at Tim Burton's feet? (Of course we should.) I guess if nothing else it's giving Andy Serkis a new opportunity to shine, hidden in the shadows. You don't have to hide Andy in the shadows, ya know, world? Sometimes we like to look at him just plenty.

--- Who You Callin Fairy - I feel guilty at this point eleven years later still referring to Mary Harron as "the director of American Psycho," but that is and remains where I fell in love with her work. (I feel no such qualms about illustrating this only tangentially related bit of news with a picture of Christian Bale in that film, because duh.) She went on to make the terrific The Notorious Bettie Page after that, and did a lot of TV work, but it's hard out there for female directors, as y'all well know. Her most recent flick, the girl's boarding school vampire movie The Moth Diaries (with Scott Speedman playing a teacher!) remains in limbo right now, but according to BD there is good news: she's lining up another flick. It's called Wicked Lovely and it's based on a series of books about a girl that gets caught up in some faery netherworld... that happened to me once. With sexy results!

--- And finally, Jared Leto done went and cleaned himself up some for a Huge Boss cologne commercial, so sure, I'll post it. He cleans up well. (via)

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My What Big Hands Fassy Has

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Trailers, trailers, everywhere trailers! Hasn't it been kind of nuts this week? We already got the US version of the X-Men Muppet Babies trailer earlier but they also released an International version - can I just tell you that every time I write about International trailers it makes me think of those International Delight coffees? - and you can watch it below. (via)

It has some new, thrilling, Fassy-fied footage. I'm usually against watching so many trailers for something and spoiling my eventual first viewing of the finished product, but when there's Fassy involved all bets be off. I gotta look!
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First Class Trailer

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Apparently the earlier trailer for X-Men: Muppet Babies was only a teaser? It seemed substantial enough, especially after watching it a dozen times or so. But no, a full trailer's been released, which means more Michael Fassbender to look at, hooray! Watch it at Yahoo, and  then behold some HD screen-caps of the world's handsomest man:
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Fassy Marks the Spot

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That's the latest trailer, international-flavor, for X-Men: Muppet Babies (via), and it's far heavier on the Fassy than the previous ones. Which, hooray. Here are some pertinent screen-grabs, since this place has been far too Fassbender-lite lately. 44 days to go!

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Fourth Time's A Scream

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There are actually a couple of movies out this weekend besides Scream 4, and I mention them in this week's Celebrity Beehive piece, but who cares? Who cares??!!? Scream 4 baby! For the record I'm not seeing the movie until tomorrow, so please refrain from spoiling anything. But I am curious to know y'all's opinions as you see it...

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poll by twiigs.com

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