Love Bird Alert™: Eva Longoria has a new fella.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 21 February 2011

Weekly Life & Style tells us that Eva Longoria is in love already, having left her cheating husband, basketball player Tony Parker. Her new guy is not mentioned either on the cover or on their website, and I have rules about opening the magazines up, so I don't know if this is the same guy mentioned in OK! last month, Spanish pop singer Eduardo Cruz.

In accordance with this blog's pro-love policy, we wish the happy couple all the best, whoever they are.

Love Bird Alert™:Eva Longoria and Penelope Cruz's brother

Publication: OK!
Date: 17 January 2011

In general, the gossip rags are much more interested in a couple where both people are famous than a couple where only one person is famous. This is why Eva Longoria's alleged new beau is introduced as Penelope Cruz's brother instead of some nobody named Eduardo Cruz. He actually has some fame in his own right, since he is a Spanish pop singer, but that doesn't cut the mustard with the people standing in lines in supermarkets in Topeka.

Pulling a Bullock™:Eva Longoria talks about adoption

Publication: In Touch
Date: 3 January 2011

Scenario. Imagine you are a female celebrity, rich, famous and good looking, married to a celebrity husband. Life is good. Then suddenly, everybody in the world knows your husband is a cheating dog. Now, instead of envied and admired, you are pitied by "nice people" and the less generous wonder if your husband's inability to keep it in his pants doesn't reflect on you in some way.

What can you do?

If you are Eva Longoria, you Pull a Bullock™.

Readers of the gossip rags this year will know what I mean by this, though readers from the U.K. will probably snigger at the phrase. Adopt some poor deserving orphan and raise the child on your own with only an army of paid professional to help. If we believe In Touch, Eva Longoria is planning to do just that, and because she is clearly The Wronged Woman, this qualifies as a Full Bullock™. Earlier stories about Kim Kardashian thinking about adoption as a single woman would qualify as a Half Bullock™.

I've created a new label, Pulling a Bullock™. Eva may be alone in trying to repeat this exact move, but given what a huge P.R. success Sandy had this year and the lack of originality in Hollywood, I wouldn't be surprised if this happens again.

Note: Sandra Bullock did NOT Pull a Bullock™. For this generation, she pretty much invented the damn move. You can't steal your own material.

Love Bird Alert™?:Eva is still seeing Tony

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 3 January 2011

One sign that a gossip story is not over yet is when magazines publish contradictory stories in the same week. So it is with Tony Parker and Eva Longoria this week, with Weekly Life & Style saying the diminutive actress is still seeing her cheating basketball husband.