Regis' cancer returns!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 30 May 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The low rent Examiner gets all dramatic and has a headline about Regis Philbin's cancer returning, and has a picture of him with a dark spot on his face circled for emphasis.

Skin cancer shouldn't be ignored, of course, but if you have good medical coverage, and I'm sure Regis does, this is more of an annoyance than an actual health crisis.

Kathie Lee wants Regis' job!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 7 March 2011

The low rent Examiner and her sister publication the Globe have been the source of all Regis Philbin stories over the past two years, which fits in nicely with their target demographic of the extremely aged who watch way too much daytime TV. A year ago, before it was clear that Regis would be quitting, the Globe said Pat Sajak wanted Regis' job. Now it's the low rent Examiner's turn, and they say Regis' previous partner Kathie Lee Gifford wants the gig.

And the camera noses in to the tears on his face:Regis quitting over pay cut!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 14 February 2011

Last week, the Globe said Regis Philbin was quitting because he was dying. Readers voted this the Meanest Story of the Week in a landslide.

This week, the low rent Examiner says he's quitting because he was offered a pay cut. It's still a mean story, but after last week, it can't possibly Meanest Story of the Week now.

Meanest Story nominee:Regis Philbin dying!

Publication: Globe
Date: 7 February 2011

A couple weeks ago, the Globe got their first story right in quite a spell when Regis Philbin announced his retirement about a month after the Globe had said he would retire. Since they are on a roll, the Middle Wicked Step Sister tabloid decided this week to up their bet and tell us Regis, who will turn 80 in August, is dying.

Best wishes to Regis Philbin, his family and friends.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:Kathie Lee rips Regis!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 January 2011

The low rent Examiner tells us Kathie Lee Gifford is angry at Regis Philbin and is quoted as saying "He betrayed me!" This post gets the Hey Old Timer Gossip label because Regis was on the air back in the 1960s before I graduated high school. I would guess some of the Old Timers in the demographic sweet spot of the low rent Examiner are not even clear that Kathie Lee left the show over a decade ago, replaced with a perky blond nearly twenty years her junior.