Speaking Socially

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Here are two thoughts that occur to me at least once a week, sometimes more, with regards to David Fincher's The Social Network, which has apparently taken up a sliver of permanent residence inside my already too crowded head.

1. I can't tell you how often the line "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook" pops into my head. It's become a bit of an obnoxious dictum of my own that I repeat ad nauseum to myself. It's especially handy in New York Sidewalk scenarios, where I find myself forced to steamroll over the slower herding animals. If you guys had been the inventor of that corner, then you'd have gotten to the corner first, bitches! So on. It's useful brain language! It justifies my obnoxious behavior. I like that.

2. Now for a piece if the film's dialogue that haunts me at the opposite end of the spectrum. This one doesn't occur to me as often, but whenever I see Rashida Jones now, which is whenever a new episode of Parks and Rec is on, I think of that exchange between her and Jesse Eisenberg - "The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?" "Thousand." "I'm sorry?" "Twenty-two thousand." "Wow." - and how that scene got played in a bunch of the film's awards clips and how much I started to hate it and hate it more with every single time I saw it. It's so hammy and sitcommy, the pause for effect WOW. Ugh! I began to hate it so much that it made me want to snatch the Oscar out of Aaron Sorkin's hands and smack him in the jaw with it. And I like you, Rashida Jones, you seem totally swell, but that is not one of your finest moments.

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