Suri's late night meltdown!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 2 May 2011

The Littlest Scientology Princess gets yet another story telling of her diva-like behavior. This is the sixth story about her this year and fourth in five weeks.

Just a brief reminder to all those about to experience baby joy that this can be the result.

Rich people are rich: Suri's $5 million birthday gift!

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 April 2011

Suri Cruise is the most popular target under ten years old for the supermarket rags, just barely edging out Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

The general impression the public gets from the stories about Shiloh is simple. She's a spoiled brat.

Suri turns 5!

Publication: People
Date: 11 April 2011

People has a simple headline about Suri turning five years old. No other editorializing is given.

Meanest Story nominee: Suri's twisted world.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 4 April 2011

The typical Suri Cruise story in the supermarket rags tells us she is a handful, but this one lays some of the blame on the adults in her life. Here are the sub-headlines.

• plays with x-rated candy
  
• dragged out of bed by Katie for 1 a.m. dinner
  
• still using a pacifier at age 4
  
• What Katie's parents are doing to save Suri
  

You will note that the sperm donor is left completely out of the equation.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Bad parents alert:Suri, diva on the set.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 31 January 2011

This week, Tuesday is Pick on Scientologists Day! Most of the nastiest stories about the people in the weird cult come from the AMI kennel, but this one is from In Touch, the meanest of the "regular" supermarket rags, with about one in three positive stories. (Note: that isn't even close to the Three Wicked Step Sister rags, who average one positive story in every nine.) In any case, yet again we have a story saying Suri Cruise is an out of control brat whose parents give her way too much leeway.

Rich people are rich:Suri's $1,000 shoe spree

Publication: Star
Date: 24 January 2011

A pattern is emerging for stories about Suri Cruise, and that pattern is she's a spoiled brat. This one is in the Star, the most independent jackal in the AMI kennel, detailing a shopping trip where she was bought $1,000 of shoes. The stories about her pampered lifestyle have been published in several other magazines not owned by the nastiest conglomerate.

Bad Help Alert:Nannies rat on Suri and Shiloh!

Publication: Star
Date: 29 November 2010

Previously, I have stated my wish that the gossip rags would leave little kids alone. I also dislike stories where the sources are disgruntled nannies. That said, I did read the headlines in the Star this week with some interest.


If we are to believe the sources the Star quotes, four year old Suri Cruise is quite the handful. She is treated like a princess and she makes the most of it. Among the details are:

• She is served breakfast in bed
• She tattles on her mom Katie to her dad
• She flushed diamonds down the potty
• She gets mani-peds at home

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, also four, is a completely different handful. Many stories have already told us she's a tomboy. the details in the Star this week include:

• She collects dead animals
• She wears boxer shorts and has "tattoos", actually rub-ons that wash off
• She was playing Cowboys and Indians with her older sister's dolls and said the captives had to be scalped, so she cut the heads off the dolls. (Brad made her apologize.)
• She tells her mom to "call her John"

It sounds like a lot of work to be the parent of either of these little girls, but I have to say that given these stories, I have fonder feelings towards one of these tykes than I have towards the other. I'll let you guess which one.